Sourced by Source

A Journey Beyond the Zero-Sum Game

Unpacking what has been, I AM Here NOW.  I AM.  Aligned with the highest vibrational experience. It has NOT been easy. It has been. Reminded of a sticker on my water bottle that has traveled many roads with me “Take it easy, but TAKE IT!” by the late Woodie Guthrie.  I love that quote, however it has a special flavor in the present.

What has not been easy? Showing up. Seeing myself through. Staying committed to what I set out and committed to do.

Why? Generally, I create. Seeing my creations through to completion has not been a challenge. Some projects are a one hit wonder. They build, grow, peak and conclude and that was the purpose of that project. Then there are some that have momentum. Inspiration fuels it, the universe shows signs to keep going, momentum builds and the life span of the idea expands.

The amount of time that a project sustains varies by the project.  There is a beginning, middle and end.

Lately, I feel like I have been a very long lingering end. Simultaneously many beginnings that feel like either dead ends with hard stops, or very long growth phases that yield little to no matching energy or results. In between the beginning and the end, is the middle and what feels like this strange place that is hard to describe that is like the space in between the cracks. It is this mysterious space where the energy doesn’t move like it does in an ending or a beginning. It lingers, meanders, is timeless. It doesn’t travel known paths. It lives beyond the definable. It just is.  Not comfortable and also comfortable. It’s weird, awkward, at times spacious and depending on my perspective can feel daunting and confusing.

What do I mean by this?

   

 

When it comes to projects, life, my creative offerings, healing work (all of it is what I am creating, building, participating in), there has in the past generally been some kind of reward or encouragement to keep going. There was something that showed me, yes this way. Like those times when you have an idea, hear a song or see a sign, find a book, go to a place, meet a person, make a connection and like that it flows. Lately, none of that is happening. I have tried to move something and nothing happens. There has been short lived moments of movement, some signs yet it all seems to fall flat, go nowhere. Nothing is happening. Instead, it’s just me creating and things are expanding yet nothing is going anywhere. It’s like the movement direction has changed. I can see it. I can feel it. I can’t quite define it, yet. It appears as though there is no movement, yet I challenge appearances for they can be deceptive. After all, the objects in the mirror are closer than they appear.     

Movement. In one reality, regardless of a project’s life line, there is a feeling of purpose, recognition, support, encouragement, appreciation and interest that builds value and leads to completion. There is validation that confirms there is a reason for putting in the effort.

I am not creating for personal enjoyment and gratification. I am creating because it is through my creative offerings that I am able to contribute with purpose. The medium changes. As an artist, a piece of art has a purpose and the idea is not that it becomes clutter in my home for my own enjoyment, rather that it flows into the world. As a performer, when I build a show it needs a stage and an audience in order to perform it. As a coach, of course I coach myself every day, however I did not become a life coach to simply coach myself. I chose the path because it was a medium through which my creative gifts may be of guidance to others. I did not choose to teach Yoga to simply teach myself for 35 years. I did not answer the call of energy healer, or spiritual guide, or writer, or speaker or content creator to simply put out content and write to amuse myself.

However, what happens when there is little to no reciprocal interest? What happens when the world is too busy talking and no one is listening? What happens when everyone is creating and no one is receiving? What happens when everyone is a performer and there is no audience? What happens when the performer has no audience and the artist’s art clogs up their own walls, the Yoga teacher’s class is empty and no one takes the time to let you know you matter, that your work is important or confirms the you still hold value in the world? Open mics and Second Saturday Art events are littered with undervalued artist desperately seeking validation while struggling to pay their rent. Coaches, light workers, star seeds, healers falling prey to competitive pain point marketing schemes because they believe it’s the only way to get clients and pay bills. I am sure it's also what our aging population feels as they retire, family is busy with themselves, friends die and no one seems to be interested in their art anymore. They lose their validity. There becomes a point where anything will do. Because without the other, the exchange is not complete. It’s a one-sided relationship. It’s not rewarding nor is it fulfilling. It’s boring.

If a farmer keeps planting seeds, tilling the soil, watering, tending to the crop and nothing ever grows, will the farmer keep farming? The purpose is to grow something. The reward is the crop, which has value. It goes somewhere. It grows. There is a point where the farmer sells the crop or gets to utilize that resource for nourishment.  It’s worth it to keep up with all of the hard work.

We weren’t meant to live in a box. Actually, I just learned that my natal Astrology chart includes two Grand Crosses, a Grand Trine, two Cradles and a Kite.  Not being an astrologer, I don’t totally know what that all means. From what I do understand, two Grand Crosses is NOT an easy aspect to be born with.  It’s like having 8 fighting angry Greek Gods in opposition pitted against one another. I imagine them on a pirate ship (a cradle (the hull) and the kite (the sail)). These aspects are challenging, having two of them is very challenging YET not impossible for the they show areas for great growth.  Lately, I have been feeling my chart. I feel the hard angles. It feels like I am in an impossible double box. The box corners are not stacked, they are slightly off.  This opens up the pattern of an 8 pointed star. In the center of the star, there is a pinhole of light. I think that what I am feeling is the experience of going through that pinhole of light.

The only way is through. There is NO guarantee of success or reward. There is no guarantee of anything.

There is not yet light at the end of the tunnel. I am relying on the true light that guides me from within. I have lost it all and laid the rest on the line. I put all of my eggs in the basket and the basket broke. What I am creating is all I have and I am showing up without any confirmation that I am on the right path, or that this is the way. I am fully relying on complete faith, sourced by source, trusting the process and hoping for the best.  

This is NOT easy. Nor is it comfortable. It hurts. It’s painful. It’s lonely.

For some time, I have been committed to showing up, seeing my ideas through, planting seeds, tending to the crop, growing, doing the work and not seeing the rewards. It’s like a never ending showing up and tiling the soil and seeing no return. Perhaps some crops take longer to grow from seed to bloom. The last month has felt like moving mountains up mountains. It is really hard to keep showing up for the sake of showing up. Especially not knowing if it’s worth it, if a crop will grow or how long it will take to grow.  It’s a huge risk. In the past, synchronicities and divine signs guided the way and provided confirmation “yes, keep going”.  Where have those signs disappeared to? It has become really quiet and really still.

How far is it through this pinhole anyways? Is anyone listening?  

Resilience, perseverance, faith and integrity keep saying, “Keep going, bootstrap, stand up, get up, return to the ceremony con la fuerza! Do what you said you would do. Cultivate the strength to pull the vision into reality”.

So, I keep showing up, doing the work, writing, creating, posting, building, growing, learning and trusting.

Why? Because, Sovereign I AM and intend to BE! Divinely aligned sourced by source in peace and divine holy love. Whatever the 8 angry fighting Greek Gods are fighting over, well… guess what – that is their battle, their story. I am staying focused on the pinhole of true light. If the 8 Greek Gods can’t figure it out, they can take their box into the ring and fight it out.  For me, I am not interested in the zero sums game.

Being in choice, I chose a long long long time ago to disengage the battle.

Some projects are taking a long time to complete. The longer a project takes to complete, the harder it gets to bring it through to the finish line because it is further from the inspiration point. Inspiration is like the golden fuel.  When inspiration runs out, we have to dip into the reserves to find other resources. That is, if one is relying on a container with limits. What flows from source is abundant and regenerates life.

Source does not consume.

Consumption is a degenerative template. If one relies on consumption to sustain, eventually resources will run out. It is not sustainable, it’s degenerative.  Do NOT be fooled lest you are ready to learn. If one is living to sustain, then one is living to stay at the level they are at. This is exhausting. In comparison, a regenerative template not only sustains but it wisely uses resources in an effortless, effective and integrous way that promotes growth.  This is not a new template. It’s a remembrance.

Sourced by source.

The illusion is that we must consume to create. Overdoing, overworking, overharvesting, over overing. The ovaries tap out. When the ovaries tap out, that is it. No more eggs. Yet, is there more to life than eggs? Hopefully because I put all of mine in a basket that broke 5 years ago. Some may say there is not and I challenge you to consider the brain wash. The body, like the Earth are masters of homeostasis. Given the right circumstances both are incredibly resilient and able to regenerate. Balance is not the mind dominating the experience with endless doing. The heart too plays an important role. In fact, when the two come into resonance, harmony expands. The heart’s field has greater impact and reaches further than the brains field.

The field has been played.

Not all players have played a fair game. When the rules are distorted the players get allured into fights over bounty that holds no real value. They respond to false realities with behaviors that embed a false belief program as though it were true. Playing in a game they never consciously agreed to play, they get so looped in they defend it’s validity.

Check in; When did you consciously choose to accept the game of survival?

Because, it was never about that game. Sure, one celled organisms play the game of survival. However, remember, we are not one celled organisms. We are a community of trillions of cells all working together in harmony to regenerate life. So, why are you playing the game of survival?  When did you decide to play the game of re-sourcing? It’s tricky sneaky sly maneuver and it takes some impeccable self reflection and awareness to see.

Choose to be sourced by source.   

A zero sums game is competitive and means one person’s gain is another’s loss.  This is based in duality, which is the fundamental core wound that you are separate, not connected to source.  No one wins a zero sums game. Yet, the net sum IS Zero. A zero sums game takes two people competing to get to the zero point.

This is a distortion!

The Zero point is the beginning, genesis, source, the point of UNION.  It is here where everything is whole and complete sourced by source. This is infinite energy. When did you forget this? Where in your life are you playing a zero sums game that is instead calling for you to remember your zero point?

As I reflect on the challenges that have been and run them through this lens of consideration, I acknowledge:

• I am not competing

• I am not fragmented

• I am quite simply sourced by source really getting to know the places in my field where through life I had naively bought into false templates.

• As I move through the pinhole of light, only so much can go through

• The pain is the feeling of everything getting stripped away that is not connected to the Krystic mission

This brings up emotions for it never feels good to realize that one was manipulated into something where the rules and intention were obscured. 

Buyer beware.

Our energy is infinite. Any place within your field where you are feeling exhausted or resources are being drained, check in. That is a warning sign that you are playing a survival sustainable degenerative zero sums game.

Get out now. Consider this a sign.

For what flows from source in love radiates and expands. It does not feed on limited perception and resources.  Seek the truth. Return to the zero point. Embrace your regenesis and allow yourself to remember your regenerative template in order to open the infinite flow of source to restore your whole.

If you are ready to return to the BASICS and reset, consider checking out the BASICS retreat. This is a choice point opportunity to retreat, listen, observe, learn, connect, and nourish. 

May you be free!

Sequoia Raven Moon