Learning to Fly

Something is wrong here, or is it?

Keywords: Accept, Alchemize, Revelation

This is a story that unfurling; it is in process.  This journey flows from Full Moon to New Moon to Full Moon to New Moon.  The last time I wrote was the New Moon at the onset of the Yellow Seed Galactic Year.  Yellow Seed, I AM!

It is now the New Moon in August.  This New Moon is a New Moon in Virgo and is called the Black Moon.  It is a Zero Point! Therefore, a complete reset opportunity to clear, purify and manifest your highest timeline. It is a DNA recoding activation; if you CHOOSE it to be!   

The Story

Let’s go back to the last Full Moon to New Moon portal from July.  At this time, I was getting ready to go up to Oregon for one week on a mini adventure. The last time of my writing, was the beginning of the Galactic New Year and this is a Yellow Seed year, which is my Kin.  I had felt inspired regarding my business and the projects I am continuing to nurture by showing up and maintaining steady progress.  I nurtured the seeds I have been planting.  In fact, I have been showing up steady in the garden now for many months.

On the way to Oregon, I stopped at Mt. Shasta and the owner of Soul Connections pointed out that Izzy Ivy the Oracle Deck maker and artist was putting on a workshop there in August.  I felt an immediate rush of inspiration and made a commitment to be present at the workshop, which was called Wings of Light. The Oregon journey was marked with some challenges and not as nourishing as I had hoped.  Some of the remnants of the reasons why I went up there continue to linger and require continued cultivation. That however, is not the focal point of this story.

Three weeks ago, post Oregon trip, just a few days past the last New Moon, I went for a jog as I usually do on Fridays.  My routine is a 2-mile jog around the State Capital Park finished up with a 3-mile walk.  On the third lap, I take a stop toward the end to smell the roses, literally.  After smelling the roses, I have made friends with old tall tear drop shaped Cedar Tree that has welcomed me to meditate in the belly of its trunk.  To honor the tree, I generally approach it, connect, place my hands on it and wait for it invite me to climb into it.

On this particular Friday, I approach the tree, place my hands on it and glanced down and got startled.  At the base of its trunk, there is a little small alcove and sitting in it was a tiny bird.  I didn’t expect to see a bird sitting at the base of this tree.  I jumped back.  Greeted the bird.  I noticed the bird was not flying.  I was worried about the bird.  Asked it what was wrong and proceeded to sit there with it for over an hour talking to it, keeping it company, and protecting it.  The longer I sat there, the more worried I got.  Something must be wrong.  The bird can’t fly.  It’s not flying.  I texted a friend who is a bird person to find out what to do.  I started calling bird rescue places and leaving messages while considering how am I going to help this little bird.  Something is wrong, he can’t fly.

The park lawn maintenance crew came out with riding lawn mowers and leaf blowers.  I was concerned that they would not see this little bird and harm it.  I approached the guy on the riding lawn mower who came over, along with the leaf blower guy.  They were genuinely interested in the little bird. They called their manager who came over.  He then called his manager who they call the “bird whisperer”.  Maria, the “bird whisperer” has rescued birds in the park and restored them so that they can fly in the wild again.  I felt a glimmer of hope as Maria arrived knowing that the bird would be saved. 

Maria reached down, with confidence swiftly yet gently collected the bird and something happened...

As soon as Maria grabbed the bird, its parents flew out from the neighboring tree and let us know that they were there. They gave a clear message to back off and leave their baby alone.  Now the bird was in the grass even more exposed.  Maria grabbed the bird and moved it back to the tree.  At that time my friend texted me back saying it was likely a Robin fledgling whose parents were feeding it while it was learning to fly.  We all dispersed realizing that intervening was not necessary.  As we all walked away my phone rings.  The local bird rescue calling me back and confirming that it was a baby fledgling, to walk away.  She said, “the parents got this”. 

I was deeply touched by this experience.  When the bird rescue place told me to trust the parents, a lot of emotion surfaced for me. 

I realized that:

1. My intervention was actually thwarting the bird’s growth process.  The parents and the baby bird were waiting for me to leave so that they could go about their natural process. 

2. I was not trusting nature.  I was trying to control nature. 

3. I had assumed that no one at the park cared.  What I saw was the goodness of humanity in action.  I saw humans come together who all cared about the baby bird wanted to help protect it.  It was a joining of dimensions all for the cause of helping this baby bird take its first flight. 

4. This one is big: From the onset, my core limiting belief was silently running the show.  When I first saw the bird, I thought, “something is wrong, the bird can’t fly” when actually, nothing was wrong, the bird was LEARNING to Fly. 

The Lesson: Maybe nothing is wrong. Rather, it’s a learning process = Learning to Fly. Nature is perfect. Do not intervene. Trust the process. It is not a one size fits all rule as there may be times when intervention is imminent.  The key: check the false belief at the onset.  Am I looking through the eyes of, “there is something wrong”. If so, clear that false distorted premise and look through a clearer lens. From there: re-assess.  Is intervention called for, or is it part of a learning process. 

All in all, the little Robin fledgling now has a cool song to offer its fellow birds about its journey connecting with caring kind humans who all helped protect it the day it learned to fly.  In addition, the meditation cedar tree now has a potent energy connected to it. In addition, I met three caring compassionate humans who work at the State Capital maintaining the grounds there.  All of us came together to protect and help the bird.  Humans do have hearts and even thought I may have intervened, today two worlds intersected together to support a baby bird in taking its first flight.  

I CLEARLY see how our limiting beliefs cause us to take actions that may disturb a natural flow. Perhaps that too is all part of nature’s perfect urban dance that includes humans with hearts and loving bird families. 

The fundamental key factor here beneath all wisdom; I was not seeing myself as part of nature’s divine plan. At first, it was my limiting belief, “something is wrong”. Then, it was nothing is wrong other than I was making something wrong by disturbing nature’s rhythm. 

That my friends, is the hook. In order for me to have believed that I messed up by intervening, I had to buy into the belief that I am separate from, not part of the environment in which I exist.  I did not trust that nature nor did I value my part in the great flow. I did not trust the parents. I did not trust nature. I felt bad for intervening and was worried that it would be harmed because I intervened. When it all came down to it, the baby Robin Fledgling LEARNED to FLY and my participation as well as everyone else’s was part of what helped make that happen. 

Nothing was wrong. 

Some learning processes take teams of people and support from different realms in order to create the safe protective space for growth to happen.  The importance is not about right and wrong, it is about how the different components work together for growth to happen.  There is trust in learning. Learning can be messy and disorganized.  Each step facilitates the next.  It asks constant recalibration.

A good teacher holds the container in a way that allows the learner to feel safe enough to fumble.  In order to grow, one needs a safe foundation.  There will be mistakes and mishaps so building the proper foundation helps cushion those moments.  The Robin Fledgling found an alcove in the base of the tree.  It may not have known what dangers lurked.  The world was still new. The Cedar Tree was protecting it as much as the parents were.  It had the earth beneath it, the Cedar behind it and the parents watching from nearby.  Then it had me, the guy on the riding lawnmower, the leaf blower guy, the manager in the golf cart, and Maria the “bird whisperer”.  It was a support team that crossed different realms.   

With this experience fresh in my heart, evoking emotions as it struck a chord that continued to reverberate, I felt a little exposed and vulnerable for the days to come.  I continued to consider the synchronicity of making a commitment to go to the Wings of Light art workshop at Mt. Shasta just past the Full Moon and meeting the Robin Fledgling who was learning to fly at the following New Moon all at the beginning of the Galactic New Yellow Seed Year.

Let’s build a bridge; a Rainbow one.

The last Full Moon was a few weeks ago in August. On this Full Moon, I completed a journal which began 5 Full Moons cycles before.  I wrote, from peak to peak, this journal has been going through the valley.  At that time, I recall feeling like I had been trudging through endless valley after valley.  I was passing over peaks, but the valleys were predominant energy.  I had a vision of flying from peak to peak looking down at the valleys. With it came a distinct call to stop walking through the begrudging valley and instead use my wings. However, my wings had been clipped, damaged, or melted in flight.  I took a rough flight on my last ride and since then I have been grounded.

Until….. Mt. Shasta!

On the journey up to Shasta one passes through the Mountain Gate at Wonderland Boulevard.  The next stop is through the portal of the lake.  Whenever I can, I stop and submerse myself in the buoyant, soft, crystalline waters of Shasta.  It is not ordinary water.  It is heavily coded and my body feels nourished and supported in that water. Beyond the lake dip, next stop is Soul Connections in Mt Shasta City to connect in with community and support this gem of a local business. Most of the time when I go to Shasta, I go for the day so after Soul Connections I wind up the Mountain to my spot and do a little ceremony with me, the sky and the mountain.  Sometimes, a friend joins however on this day, it was just me and the mountain. I set intentions for the weekend and was feeling excited about participating in the Wings of Light workshop.  

Post mountain ceremony and community connection, I headed a little further north into the forest where I checked into a mountain retreat called the Rainbow Bridge and met two lovely beings who opened their home to my presence for the duration of the weekend.  Most of the time I would spend there was going to be at the workshop as they were two long days with the goal of having a finished piece of wings by the end.

Day 1: Acceptance.

Meditations, connection with others and laying the foundation. Most of the day flowed well.  By the end of the day, however, my feathers had been ruffled.  I was not feeling good about my wings.  I had doubt about my ability to draw something defined.  I was comparing mine to others, even though I hadn’t actually looked at anyone's.  I had drawn a strange appendage off the bottom of the wings and what came out on the canvas was not at all what I had visualized in the mediation.  I also do not visualize, I sense. Being a master of the abstract, I had no words, description or clear picture of what it was I saw.  For all I know what came out was what I saw. 

I was not trusting it. I was fighting against it. I was in judgment over my abilities. I was embarrassed as I expected myself to have presented something far different (even though I do not know what I expected). My inner dialogue was quite harsh.  I had to reason with myself by the time I left for Day 1 that there was another day and the wings just needed to simmer. I was not in a good mood when I left. 

A random storm had come through.  It had started raining.  I was frustrated, feeling sensitive and I did not want to interact with anyone, yet I had to go back to the house where I was staying.  I took some time to myself.  I wanted to go home.  I did a reading and pulled the acceptance card.  As I approached the house, there was a rainbow over the house. Of course, it was called Rainbow Bridge. The rain had brought in some nesting feelings.  I was feeling quite tired and retreated to my room where it did not take long for me to fall asleep.

Day 2: Alchemize.

Feeling curious about how this would turn out, I awoke to fresh clear day. The sky was blue and there were some clouds in the sky.  These clouds seemed to have a special signature to them. The sunlight was flashing on and off. The smell of transformation was in the air. Knowing that I had left my wings to simmer through the night, I pulled a card. Divine Alchemy. "I commit myself to the evolution of my consciousness with joyful confidence in the reality being birthed through my soul at this time. I live the realization that I am LOVED intimately and tenderly by the Divine!" WOW... OK!

I was called to leave and head toward the mountain before the workshop started.  On my way to the mountain, I noticed a familiar appearance.  A dragon cloud flying to the top of the mountain. 

As I sit and write this, I look across my room to a piece of art I made called Fire on the Mountain.  It is a dragon flying to an azure blue mountain with a radiant sky as the back drop.  I made this in 2002 ish while listening to the Fire on the Mountain Grateful Dead song when I was living in my 1971 VW Bus.  The image I saw that day at Shasta looked exactly like my painting.  What it means is still unfolding.  It is worth noting though, as it is interesting how different points in time intersect to show connection points worth recognizing. 

As the day went on and I worked on adding layers step by step to alchemize my wings, each step felt more risky.  I would do something and like it.  Then the next new thing became an if I mess this up, I ruin it moment.  In my art process, this is not a common feeling for me.  I take huge risks in my art and frequently make big mistakes which inevitably feel frustrating however I have learned that each piece of art has its own essence and expression.  Sometimes it is those messy moments that allow the heart beat of the art to come to life. 

Those generally turn out to be some of my favorite pieces.

I did not feel as free with this art process in making the wings.  There were specific steps.  Each step built on the next.  Most everyone was able to follow the rules relatively well.  As I caught glimpses of everyone’s wings they looked amazing. Mine on the other hand, were very different.  They were full of energy, undefined, shaped odd, and had this appendage that went against the flow at the bottom. 

I wanted to learn.

I kept asking the teacher for guidance on ways to improve. I was told it looked good.  I refused to believe her.  There was an option to learn how to work with gold.  I asked her about adding gold to the appendage and she thought that would look nice.  In doing so it made that part stand out even more.  I got so frustrated.  I had made what already didn’t look good stand out and look even worse.  As the day went on, each step I took was accompanied with more and more layers of discontent.  There was also a time constraint. Tasks had time limits before a new skill was introduced. I was getting frustrated with stopping and starting. 

I was getting quite frustrated and at one point broke down crying because I had ruined the art piece.  Being that we had a short amount of time to go, I had this guttural sinking feeling that I was going to leave with a piece of art that I hate. I was convinced that I cannot do this, the structure is not for me, my wings suck and I have completely messed it all up. My artist took over. I stopped caring about following the rules and decided that I wanted to salvage my wings and leave with some level of confidence rather than leave with my head hung low.  I played around with the appendage until it looked so chaotic and muddy that at one point the teacher walked by and agreed that it was not pleasing.  She did it tactfully by pointing out the part of the image that looked nice. I was utterly embarrassed.  Crying as I was working on the art and trying to hide that I was crying.  I buried my head and did what I could to reconcile what I had messed up.  Facing reality that I was going to have to present this really bad image and people would feel sorry for me.  I figured they wouldn’t say anything or come up with some polite response.  In fact, the responses I got was “they have so much energy”. Which is true.  I did draw movement and energy, yet it also felt like a polite way to say, "nice try, you were on a roll, but messed it up".

What was running behind the scenes? Something is wrong. I am fundamentally flawed.  I am not part of the flow.  I am not trusting my process or letting it flow. I am not trusting nature, nor am I trusting my part in nature. I was operating from a belief that I am the problem.  I am a screw up, a failure and suck at everything. I couldn’t even create a simple thing like wings. I was internally plotting to take pen and ink to it post workshop.  I knew that when I had all of the time I needed with pen, I could make it look perfect and precise with small fine detail.  I told myself I would honor it and make it be all that it could be; more than enough! 

At that point, the workshop was coming to a close so I reasoned,

It was good enough, for now.

To close out the workshop we did a closing meditation and laid out our images in a circle around the mandala altar. First, we walked around in a circle counter clockwise and honored each other’s pieces of art.

We then got comfortable and laid down in preparation to go on a mediation journey.  It is not clear to me what happened in that mediation, however there was a point where I was distinctly aware of myself standing up on Mt. Shasta on an area where there is a clearing.  The mountain still had a little bit of snow on the upper regions.  There were wings coming out of my back.  I turned and looked over my shoulder behind me.  I could see these bright, luminescent fiery wings. Immense emotion took over me.  I was trying not to cry or disturb the meditation as tears rolled down my face and I could feel this wall of intense emotion in my throat.  There was a sense that my wings had been damaged, clipped, hidden, removed, taken away or something had happened.  In that moment was a sense of redemption as I saw them igniting and activating.  In that moment I felt myself fly directly up ascending upward in a spiral and realized myself as a Phoenix. 

I came out of the meditation and was quite emotionally charged. We all walked to go take a group photo with our photos. 

The workshop ended. 

I took my painting and drove up the mountain to sit at the mountain with my wings. The mountain had a cloud that was coming out of the top and spreading out like wings. As I looked at the painting with the mountain behind it, I saw something.  I saw what used to be the appendage that had been the source of resistance and frustration now looked just like Mt. Shasta.  In my painting just like the mountain there were wings coming out of the mountain. 

Conclusion: Revelation. I pulled the third card while sitting there at the mountain. Being that a revelation is a sudden insight or idea, something being revealed; the revelation is unfolding, just like my newly repaired wings. All processes take time and I am in that delicate growth phase, just like the baby Robin fledgling, Learning to FLY.  I know how to fly, however it has now been some time and my wings were just restored. 

Perhaps in the next writing, by the next Full Moon, I will have a continuation, update conclusion for this story. 

For now, what I will share is that at this New Moon, we reach a Zero Point.  This is a DNA regeneration activation point. This is an opportunity to notice your process and what has been or is being shown to you, to clear it, and to manifest, create energize that which you CHOOSE to breathe life into. For me, the biggest truth that has been revealed is how operating from a there is something wrong (with me) template skews the experience and goes hand in hand with believing that self is not part of nature’s divine process.  These are false distortions.  What is true is that to learn to fly, it is important to create safe space. Your parents got this, however are you honoring that you are both the mother and the father united within.  When you operate from this template you are whole, complete and fly – peak to peak looking down at the valleys rather than up at the sky. It’s all about perspective and here I offer you an opportunity to consider from what view point do you wish to look out from?  The one that thinks something is wrong and operates from separation? Or the one that recognizes that the piece of art you were creating was you as the mother father repairing your wings so that you could take flight once again? Are you recognizing this moment as the DNA recoding moment that brings you into yourself complete and whole?  Are you ready to accept this? Will you CHOOSE to honor the process and let it unfurl or remain tightly bound up in the old outdated versions of self?  Eventually, the wind will blow your wings open.  It’s up to you whether you do it by choice or happen chance. 

If you are still feeling the residue of separation, limiting beliefs, mean self talk; consider the Medicine Spiral Journey which is a 10 week process to support you in a developing a healthy, loving and respectful relationship with self while healing the mother father wound so that you may live embodied, complete, and whole.

Accept, Alchemize, and Allow

May your New Moon be revealing!

Sequoia Raven Moon