From FOG to Freedom

The Path of Perseverance from a Real Life Perspective

Standing in the middle of a foggy crossroads, unsure of which path to take. As someone who has always felt guided, inspired, and filled with creative ideas, this unfamiliar stillness has been both frustrating and revealing.

Lately, I’ve felt like I’m standing in the middle of a foggy crossroads, unable to see the path ahead. I do, and then I don't. It's like the path is playing hide and seek. One day, it's obvious and the next it's unclear. Little steps forward when the fog lifts. Many days at sea hanging out off shore when the fog rolls in. I heard there was a light house here, however all I can hear is the sound of crashing waves.

If I am going to be utterly vulnerable and honest, I am here questioning everything. Deeply observing. Listening. When I sit down to write, there is a stew of ideas, different paths, and perspectives from which I could tell the story and get a message across. And then... I ask, whose listening?

I AM. I am hearing so much sometimes I am astonished at what I am actually hearing. Yet, am I writing these messages for my own musing? Creating and creating and for what purpose? Is this really for my own personal small world? Is there any value to all of this to anyone other than myself? I wonder what is the benefit of continuing to offer all of the messages, the art, the writings, the meditations, programs, coaching when it seems like no one is really paying any attention. I remember being a performer and having an audience. Now, sometimes I feel like an old brushed aside has been. An artist needs an audience, or do they?

It used to be that I created art for my own wellbeing.

Then, it became about everyone else.

It wasn't about me any longer, and the more I expanded on stage, the further I disappeared into the great show. Flowing with life, I created. Unscathed by life's scathings, I rolled around the rocks, just as the river does. One idea turned into another into a project into a program into an offering, into an adventure, a piece of art, a story, a production. Looking back, I am perplexed at how I was able to accomplish everything I did. There are moments, now, that I feel it. I was on fire and the molecules were moving at the speed of hummingbird. No time to pause.

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Is movement an illusion? Is stillness an illusion? Is anything going anywhere?

Or, is it flashing on, flashing off?

Time is not linear. If I am a rock sitting in the river, the river flows by. It appears to be in motion. Even the rock moves over time. Yet, how does it move? Some movement is quite subtle. In fact, some phenomena moves so slow it appears to be still. Some move so slow they appear to go backwards. One piece of wisdom; appearances can be deceptive. When water does not flow it stagnates and even in stagnation there is movement.

Cooling

There was a point I had to shut off the creative outpour valve as too much was flowing in and it was impossible that I would ever be able to create all of it in this life time and it was so much it was getting confusing. I felt cluttered. Mentally bogged down with a waterfall of ideas. The bog was a collection of every memory, every word, every idea, every moment. All of it stored. A zillion particles of a coded pure source spark of miraculous creation worthy of capturing and magnifying in order to illuminate something that would easily be overlooked by the average eyes. Eventually, I intended to breathe wisdom life into it for the person whose life would be elevated from encountering it. Yet, did it only hold value as a potential? Was all of it just a hollow stream of distracting thoughts? And, if not that then what? For each potential stored there was a future project.

The more one takes on, the more that needs to be managed. If proper balance is not maintained, eventually the vessel fills up. If there is no lid, the cup runs over. If capped, the vessel breaks.

I am thinking about water. When it gets hot, the molecules move faster and a little

more chaotic. It's like all of the years of fire dancing had heated me up in a way that created so much movement and chaos that when I came down to settle there was no longer room in the house for the expanded version of myself. The expanded version full of coded experiences awaiting translation in order to be grounded into comprehensible messages. I began opening up the creation valve again to let some of these ideas flow in order to create some space to begin to make sense of it all. Diligently clearing, cleaning, creating, releasing and purging while perpetually surprised that no matter how much I released, oozing in from another space inflowed yet another collection to be digested. The more this process has repeated itself the more surprised I am at how much I had experienced.

Some things appear to sit and sit and sit and sit and sit for what feels like an eternity begging of me a patience that tests me to the core of my being. I consider myself a patient person, and yet at this phase of life, I am not sure that I want to continue to be patient. I want to live fully. Not wait. However regardless of what I want, for whatever reason, I am in a perpetual holding pattern.

Is it really my own doing? Or, what is it?

Here is the thing, I am not a rock. I am the river. I have brought a lot of rocks into my space to create some places to perch in the flow of life. However as the water, when things aren't moving, I get a little angtsy. I likely have a short tether for change. My dad, is man of consistency, steadiness, and routine. He drove the same route unchanged, followed the same routine, worked the same career, for his entire adult life. Staying perhaps even beyond when something was past it's due date. Yet, he saw it through to the end of the end of the end.

I start...

Inspiration, motivation, action, momentum carry me along in the flow. Something happens somewhere around middle that bungles it all up. Getting to the finish line takes a long long long time and requires an immense amount of commitment and perseverance. Massive monumental challenges come up and before I complete one monumental challenge, another one has already surfaced.

The momentum of this picked up to the point where so many aspects of life are a big question mark at this point. I can't figure it out. I stopped trying. It isn't even obvious what the problem is or even if there is one. What is obvious? Nothing significant is actually happening let alone changing. My hibiscus no longer blooms. It has become dormant and has been for years. Not dead, not blooming. It's the same routine, day in day out, and it has brought me to this point of a deep review. In the past, I forced monumental change. If it's not changing from the outside, I do something about it. Give it all up, let it drop, sell it all, walk out, walk away, do the thing that will catalyze a shift. I have been holding steady for a while, however I am questioning why at this point? Because if I am holding steady and there are no steady synchronistic energy matching signals from the universe, then something is askew.

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The domino effect. The wind blew and knocked them all down. It starts in one area of life, then moves to another, then another, then another until almost all areas of life are affected. This IS the universe's way of communicating. It knocks out all of the exit routes. One by one each opening gets blocked. Backed into a corner. Many aspects of life that are jumbled up are interconnected in a way that it is not obvious how to navigate them or begin to organize them nor is it possible to break them into bite size pieces. One depends on the other, the other requires this and to get to this that needs to happen and for that to happen requires having or completing something that requires a skill that you don't yet have in a field that you do not understand and are not even sure what or who to ask for help, or if it's even the right path. In fact, in these situations, it sometimes can feel like it's not even obvious what you need or what the problem is, or if there is one. Perplexed and curious, I AM. Universe, you have my attention.

Why am I sharing this with you?

These life moments bring up an opportunity to go through a deep life review where every aspect of life goes through a process of consideration. In my situation, even the deep review is being deeply reviewed. I wonder, how many tasks, processes, ideas are clogging up the passageway. What is necessary and what am I doing out of habit and obligation or because of some hope or false sense of control that is really a useless waste of resources. What have I taken on that has become dead weight? What am I attached to that is contributing to my suffering? What is my highest vibrational contract? What am I actually doing and why?

The answers to these questions are not mind generated.

They require an exploration.

It all may have been part of an idea I had that I was determined to finish. Is it about completion or creation? The destination or the journey?

Usually, I am guided by inspiration, filled with creative ideas, a sense of adventure, and driven by purpose, yet this unfamiliar stillness has been unsettling. It just keeps dragging on for the sake of dragging on. Wanting to move forward, to create, to contribute, to expand. Watching the world around move so fast. Why am I moving so still? Who is paying attention anymore? Or is all of that which is organic and authentic getting drowned out by that which is opportunistic and manipulative? What is even possible? If you answer, anything. No, anything is NOT possible. Unless the thing in any is specified with intention backed up by actions that produce results; anything is not a possibility, it's a pipe dream.

There comes a moment when you are called to pull to the forefront that which you have been practicing. In these moments, it does not serve you to focus on limiting beliefs. Anything is possible is a limiting belief. To make something a possibility, asks that you consider, honor, and recognize your limits. The question to consider here is, what are my limits? Limits are edges and boundaries. To build anything requires a stable foundation to build off. The foundation is a limit is a boundary and this is a starting point that ACTUALLY makes anything possible.

Next, you can place something on the foundation. That something houses the creation and is a place where an action can take place. The key here is, you place something - meaning TAKE ACTION. Whatever the struggle, bootstrap. It's up to you how long you choose to wallow in your story. It takes impeccability to stand grounded and embodied in self, connected to what you know to be true. This truth is not mental. It anchors you into yourself. We are no longer here to fight old battles or prove our worth; we are here to step into self mastery and be the version of self that you have been working toward. NOW. Yes, even when, especially when you are in the thicket. Perhaps you are identified with struggle, not-enoughness, with seeking answers outside of the self, trying to figure it out, in an if then only if when moment, however ENOUGH is ENOUGH and the time is NOW to realize your worth is not measured externally by status, fame, money, skills. In the moments where inspiration and motivation drop out and you are faced with holding yourself accountable no one else can do it for you. You have to be the one to walk over the finish line and not because of some external temptation that allured you over, RATHER because you mustered up the umph to get up when you didn't feel you could, to create by choice when the creative was not flowing, and to continue sharing even though you aren't sure anyone is listening or paying attention. For you, by you!

I seem to remember a vague memory of me talking, a lot. I didn't seem to care that no one was paying attention. There is a part of me that feels like I could write for you and ultimately, I AM. I could shift the way I write this to turn it into a teaching pointed and directed at a purpose. Instead, I write from within the river. For life has come to this point where, I AM. What made sense, no longer does. What I was sure of has changed, all bets are off. Is the canvas blank? or am I in troubled water?

We don't know what we don't know.

What is ending? At the last New Moon, I went to the mountain to greet the beginning of the end. This transformation has been unfurling and meandering. There have been many phases. It has been the chop wood carry water part of the process with a lot of silence, stillness, observation, listening, and reflection all merged with one part resistance and one part learning to let go and one part leaning deeper into the simplicity. Letting go, letting go some more, and even when I didn't think there was more to let go of letting go of that too.

Despite all odds, I have held steady with creating content and writing blog posts, even when I wasn't sure what to say. Posting videos even when I felt in disarray. The challenge has been real. What gets me through is not inspiration, nor motivation, not even energy, or time. It is perseverance and choice. Choosing to show up regardless. Right now, I barely feel like I can finish this. I have felt like this so many times. This is not the voice from which I want to write from. This is the voice of being in the struggle and.... it's OK. This is bridging my friends.

The NEW Voice is Emerging!

At one point, I made a conscious, intentional choice to shift the tone from which I speak. The deep internal tone before had a certain tinge to it. It was all the old parts of myself that I had moved beyond. However, in continuing to speak from that voice, I was continuing to anchor in and reinforce these old outdated beliefs I held. It was old. It was stale and it needed to change.

I decided to practice writing from a new voice. There were fewer words, fewer conversations, shorter journal entries, and a pending concern that I was having a writing block. Maybe? and... maybe it's a new voice emerging. Maybe, it's being in deep process. Part of the New Voice, is allowing it to emerge. There may be times when it is not all sorted out. I do not have answers; yet! Even when life is uncertain, it is possible to show up and take action. This is one of those moments. The new voice is not an end result. It is a conscious choice from within the moment. It requires a tone shift based on noticing what is present and being in choice.

3.5 full lunar cycles have passed. The last new moon being the .5 between two Full Moons. Answers. Sometimes these deep subconscious beliefs bubble to the surface in mystical ways. I avoided facing something and procrastinated it for a week. All week I kept catching the intrusive thought attempting to convince me to buy into some false truth about myself. I catch it sometimes, however wonder how often it lingers subsurface and how much damage it is doing there. I caught myself attempting to change my external reality to support this false belief. Fortunately, I caught it, but it got me thinking, how many slip away? How many aspects of my life are being affected by these limiting subconscious beliefs showing up as sabotage? Is my current challenge all because of self sabotage? Is the way I feel the weight of a belief? This is all in process.

Perhaps!

Regardless, in a few key strokes, I will have persevered and come to the point of completion. For whatever has been tied to this post that has made it so hard to finish, and with that...

IT IS NOW DONE! SO BE IT!

If you find yourself here now, reading these words, may there have been some value in this for you. Even if it's just knowing, when life is hard, you can choose to speak from the old voice, complain and do the self soothing actions OR you can pick yourself up, half asleep, leaning on the desk, carrying self sabotage in your backpack and complete what is before you.

Several weeks ago, I decided to get out of my comfort zone and claim the title; the NEW VOICE! I AM! Sequoia Raven Moon and... I SHOW UP!

As a speaker, writer, teacher, sacred soul coach, performer, artist and fire dancer, I create transformational experiences that can include coaching, cacao ceremonies, oracle messages, fire shows, and retreats.

1. I help people ACTIVATE their inner fire, AWAKEN creative gifts, ALIGN with divine purpose and STEP OUT with confidence.

2. I help people clear the past in order to remember the truth of who they are and why they came here in order to align with their destiny and live a more authentic and meaningful life with passion, ease, grace, and flow.

3. I help people get CRYSTAL CLEAR and teach them how to SHOW UP!

As a person of proven courage and perseverance, I now claim the title!

I AM!

Thank you for reading!

Sequoia Raven Moon

If you want to work with me, schedule a self discovery call. It costs only 30 minutes of your time. Schedule