Stepping Out From Behind the Fire

Safe to be seen + Wise to hide....

Hide and Seek

Let's get real, really real! That is why you are here, am I correct? Because you want the truth, wisdom and insight that sparks you awake from slumber. Because you crave authenticity and transparency; and... are looking for that organic fertile truth soil. So, let's go. You know the game, most of us played it as kids. You count to 10, I hide. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...9...10! Game on! Bet you won't find me. Why? Because, I learned to play the game so well, I spent most of my life hiding. A quick Google search says the game is psychologically healthy for children because it helps them build executive function. I disagree. It's teaching people how to hide from someone trying to find you. It promotes a fun, thrilling experience, sure. It's fun. Yes, many things are fun, until they aren't. When you grow up, get older, and realize that you are afraid to speak your truth, you are not living the life you want to be living, you are people pleasing, saying yes when you want to say no, deferring to others opinions, playing it safe, saying no when you want to say yes, chillin in your comfort zone - my guess, you also learned to hide too.

Until NOW! Ready or NOT, here I come!

I am going to approach this from several angles. The first, what was hidden is being exposed. The further the collective raises in frequency, the harder it is to keep hidden your false shame, guilt, or shady behaviors. It is coming to the surface and the only one (WARNING: HARD TRUTH) you are hiding it from, is YOU! If you want to keep hiding from yourself and deceiving others, then that is a path you choose. It's a choice. Yet consider this, in the game of seek, it's like if the seeker finds you, but you sit there pretending like you are still hidden. The seeker is looking right at you and you may think that little leaf is obscuring your presence. It's not. I SEE You!

I was shy. Very shy. The earlier versions of myself would have never got on a stage and performed, never have given interviews, appeared on Live TV to speak, or in magazines for articles, made content, or write this. I would have played small and stayed hidden. When I started fire dancing and doing it on stage for show, I was utterly convinced for many years that no one was looking at me. I told myself they were more interested in the fire. It was well into my career, thousands of thousands of shows where someone from that earlier era told me, "yeah, we were not looking at the fire, we were definitely looking at you!" I had developed way more confidence at this point, so I could take that. I did think to myself, "duh" but the only way I could get myself up there was to tell myself this lie about being hidden behind the fire for so many years.

This is what I am talking about. Exposure is scary. Especially for those of us whom exposure has not always meant something positive. There are so many stories built up around it. The more seen someone is, the more vulnerable they are to misinterpretations, scrutiny, and judgements. It is no wonder so many people want to hide.

Let's talk about the seeker! The thrill of the hunt. Can you track your object of focus? How keen where your skills at noticing the sounds the hider made when they crawled into the bushes or behind the cabinet, did they leave footsteps in the dirt? Again, thrilling, but it teaches some odd skills. Later in life, when you find yourself not trusting your partner and snooping through their phone, or making transactional relationships with people who have what you want, or always on the lookout for more, you may be channeling those old seeker skills you learned for the thrill of the hunt.

Interestingly enough, when I sat down to write this, I turned on my computer and it always pops up an image that is random. Looking at me on the screen was black as a moonless night, Jaguar. I felt a shiver run through me for a moment. I know Jaguar well. We have met several times; in dreams, visions, and ceremonies. In mysterious ways, he appears generally with something to say. What I know about the Jaguar is that they are masters of the hunt. Why? Because by the time the prey is aware of them, it is assured that Jaguar has been watching on stealth mode for some time. It has tracked every move, scent, heat patterns; basically it knows exactly what the prey will do and how to account for it - meaning the prey will not escape. When Jaguar makes itself known, the shiver says, "I have been watching and see your every move. I got you right here, may as well surrender". But... its a cat and it wants to play. So even if you surrender, it's going to engage you in the game. There is no escaping. I realize that a cat is not a Jaguar, thankfully my cat doesn't want to eat me (sometimes I wonder), however anyone that has lived with a cat knows, it's running the show. It will do what it wants, when it wants.

So, the first angle I am approaching this from is whatever has been hidden is being exposed the further we grow up in consciousness. It will take more work to hide than it will to make the change, do the work, and shift.

The second angle I am looking at this from is similar, however it is less of a you are hiding shady behavior or something you are not proud of and more of a you are being called out to use your gifts and skills and this is causing you step out in new way. One that may feel uncomfortable and vulnerable.

Stepping out from behind the fire. I made a conscious choice to own my gift and accept myself. I gave myself full permission to be all me, full throttle, full intensity. I stepped out from behind the fire and allowed myself to be seen - on stage. This was not all rainbows and butterflies. I wish I could tell you a happy ever after sort of story, but there is no ending and there have been happy moments as well as deeply challenging painful moments. Like the kind that forge metal through fire. The gift is the sword I carry. Earned through battles fought, mostly behind the scenes. For I am not the one you see on the battlefield, most of my work is done behind the scenes. Most do not see a warrior, they see a colorful, creative, kind, and friendly person.

In one version of Hide and Seek, each person takes turns being the hider and the seeker. Later in life, a predominant roll becomes a repeat pattern; the seeker in it for the thrill of the hunt and hider in it to keep playing small and safe. In the other version, you have learned to play both rolls, stalk your thoughts and behaviors, and try to convince yourself your limiting beliefs are truths. Yet, you continue to stay hidden. How? Isolation. Lack of emotional intimacy. Distractions.

Being seen? Speak up and share your feelings and thoughts with someone rather than keeping it in your own head. Let someone support you, ask for help - you do not need to, nor are you meant to do it alone, in isolation, all in your head. That is just not how this game works. Wait.. why are we still playing this creepy game?

Well... because here is the core of this. Some people are hiding because they are out of integrity in some way and up to no good and do not want to be found out or change their ways. While others are hiding because, like the Jaguar there task is to expose truth. Like the Jaguar, they will remain cloaked and hidden in the trees until they are ready to be seen. Do you see the difference? If you learned the game as a child and you are now looking at your life through this lens you may identify with the hider or the seeker more. Your task is to then learn to play the other role. Change it up. If you have played both roles, then your task is to learn when it is important to let yourself be seen and when it is imperative to remain hidden.

For the longest time, I ran around thinking that it was about overcoming my fear of being seen. In the self help spiritual community these days, there is chatter about "invisibility complexes" = fear, apprehension, resistance to being seen. Being seen is more than getting up on stage or in front of a group of people, it also and especially applies to emotional honesty and integrity. The hard truth here is you may be telling yourself that you don't speak up, or are afraid of being seen, bottling up your emotions and that may be true for you. YET... consider as well the circumstance: Perhaps you are not speaking up for a valid reason. Is it part of your soul mission to reveal the transparent truth? Do you feel safe and trust the template from which you want to open up from? Is the person you want to open up to able to hold space for you in the way you need them to? Because if you do not trust them, do not feel safe, it is not part of your soul mission - for example.... then it may be you listening to your intuition and wise self telling you to hide. And... this is not inherently a bad thing.

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I am sharing this as a tool for persona insight and transformation. Here are some examples of what I am talking about:

1. Let's say you have a retreat you want to offer. In order to market it, you need to make a video of yourself talking about it. Avoiding it is hiding. You procrastinate and tell yourself that no one is signing up, that the economy is bad or some other story. Really, all of the stories are distractions from the truth that your creative offering is calling on you to be seen and put yourself out there more.

2. This one may be harder to swallow: You share with someone some new exciting idea you have that exposes how you have compromised your integrity and truth. If you are not aware of it, and they are, you have just been seen perhaps without even realizing that you are seen. If you are speaking to or near someone, people who are resonating at the frequency of divine love and truth - they will see you in ways you may not.

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Remember, some are hiding, some are seeking, some are consciously doing both, and.... some are not even playing the game. In the times that we are in, it is imperative to stay connected to your divine organic inner truth. Do not lose connection to your soul frequency. Give yourself time and space to see beyond the illusion. Yes, it may be that you have an invisibility complex and practicing being seen and stepping out from the fire may be where you are at. Yet, it also may not be. That very well could be a false frequency trying to get you to bite the hook and believe something about yourself that is simply not true. When you stay tuned inward to your divine truth with integrity - it is easy to know. Start there. You know you best and what you don't know you can't yet know.

Clear the air and mind your thoughts.

May this have provided you with a new perspective that is valuable to your current process.

Kindly,

Sequoia